MY SON...AND GENERATIONAL HEALING

Trauma through the generations - through our family’s eyes.


This is a story of my son, a fight between him and his sister, and what we uncovered that he was carrying from his grandfather. This a story of release and and healing generational patterns that get stuck in the body.


I also describe in tis blog in some detail how I read the language of the body to help people decode traumas and generational patterns they may be carrying. If you’d like to learn more I have 4 spots left for my upcoming free workshop here in Longmont on April 10th @ 6:30pm. Grab a seat here to learn more and experience the work. 


Before I dive into the blog, If you just want quick info on my upcoming events and interviews, here you go: 

1. While the Charlotte retreat is totally sold out and my 1-1 Sessions are totally sold out we have created a beautiful community event in Charlotte on Thursday, May 9th, 6:30-8:30pm with Dr. Matt and Friends.  Get your spot HERE - we can't wait to see you! 
   
2. You can catch my latest podcast interview "Beyond Shamans and Superfoods, Why your Nervous System Holds the Key to Health" with my friends at Longevity Lab here. 
   
3. Our intimate retreat in Nevis will likely be the week before Thanksgiving. 
   
4. You can book a session with me HERE. 
   
   
   

Now onto my son, his grandfather, and generational healing. 


First, a simple primer on your nervous system. 


If you touch a hot stove, your hand will recoil. You don’t have to think about it. It just happens. That’s a reflex. 


You don’t have to think about it. 


It just happens - that’s a reflex. It’s reactive. It’s a reflex. The circuitry and software reside deep in your brain stem, spinal cord, and middle brain - in that mysterious netherworld of the subconscious. 


You walk into a party. You have an uncomfortable interaction with an acquaintance you haven’t seen for a while. 


They seem off. 


Your reflex says: “They seem off. I wonder what I did wrong. I’m not worthy of love, so I’ll personalize this.” 


That then sets off a cascade of chemical and hormonal reactions in your body. Your body is now, reflexively, “vibing” the following: I’m not worthy.


And through the basics of neuroscience, your brain will unconsciously look for all the evidence in your life that “you are not worthy”. 


In an attempt to protect you and keep you safe, your brain becomes a well-intentioned prediction-making machine. Through the law of similarities, you’ll magnetize all manner of experiences that reflect this core “precognitive commitment”. 


You get triggered with your partner and now you are in “fight” mode. That’s a reflex. 


You are struggling at work so you go into people-pleasing and over-compliance. That is “fawn”. It, too, is a reflex. 


The unconscious patterns underneath the radar of your conscious mind lead you to feel repetitive and redundant thoughts and feelings. 


These thoughts and feelings unleash their own inner pharmacy inside you through hormones, neurotransmitters, and ligands. These, then, are the interior physiological dance that gives rise to the “reality” you experience through the lens of your thoughts and feelings. 


Like the ouroboros, it goes around and around, until we break the spell. Many times we carry patterns that started way back. 


This is one way in which your brain, organs, and tissues become codified and identified with your trauma. This is precisely how “trauma lives in the body”. 


These “precognitive commitments” are usually compensations based on traumas that you’ve gone through in your life.  


They serve to protect us. If your ancestors had no flight response, they would have been eaten by Sabre Tooth Tigers. 


Sometimes, however, we carry these patterns and they were never even hours to begin with. 


A lot of them - especially the big ones - probably didn’t start with you. 


Pain and trauma from your mom, dad, grandparents, and well beyond can live invisibly in your life - guiding your choices, reactions, health, relationships, finances, and ideas about who you are. 


I have an amazing story for you, and it illustrates the work that I’ll be talking about in my free workshop on April 10 at my practice and I would love to invite you to come. See above for the link. 


I work on my children every week. It’s so important with the stress in our world that their brains get recalibrated and reset at least every week. 


As I was working on my son through a series of “checks”, to read the language of the body, a curious pattern showed up. 


It’s an emotional pattern that can run underneath the surface and it basically says “I’m not wanted”. 


It’s not conscious. Its GPS location is around the solar plexus, on the right side of the body. 


As soon as I felt it, I immediately had to hold back tears myself. I could feel deep in the marrow of my bones where it originated - and it was not with my son. I could also feel a painful familiarity - I had carried this wound as well. “I’m not wanted”. 


 I work somatically - with the body intuitively and scientifically - thus each organ and tissue and part of the brain has its own language for me. 


I read the body like sheet music. As I put together the music, a personal song comes forth, and often it’s a song of pain, hurt, and forgotten parts crying out for love, integration, wholeness, and mercy. 


I realized, through reading the “keyboard” of his body, that he was running this pattern. “I am not wanted”. A timeless vortex emerged and I could feel my father, and my grandfather in the room with us. 


As it would turn out, it was an intergenerational pattern that he was carrying that got triggered by a situation with his sister. 


He felt the interior impact of the fight with his sister that happened the previous day. Yet, there was something else resonating in his body that was not “his”.


 It was generational. 


These generational patterns are both genetic and energetic. 


Incredible studies are proving that these generational patterns are real and measurable. Chapter 2 of It Didn’t Start With You goes into incredible detail and I will refer you you to that book for a deep dive into the science of this. 


On a more subtle level, these traumas reside as packets of frequency in the body and around it in the energetic field. 


Certain traumas and patterns, certain frequencies, have a predilection for certain tissues and areas of the brain. 


I’m convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt many health problems are created and exacerbated by unresolved trauma, and, indeed, unresolved generational trauma. 


The pattern in Mikey had to do with the pain that my father, his grandfather, has carried through life as a deep trauma of being unwanted. Through my reading of his body, there are certain things I look for that lead me to discover hidden generational trauma. 


While the details as I understand them are imperfect, what I do know is that my dad was effectively abandoned by his folks and grew up with his grandparents in the Virginia countryside. When my father, Mikey’s grandfather, was with his biological father he was repeatedly and systematically physically abused. Again and again, my father’s nervous system learned “I’m not wanted.” 


Growing up poor and having zero upward mobility, my dad joined the army voluntarily and was shipped off to Vietnam for two tours of the worst combat you can imagine. Then, upon returning “home” he was spit on (literally) and called the most horrendous of names. That kind of rejection hurts anyone, but after childhood trauma AND combat trauma, it was too much. The incredible sense of “I’m not wanted” took deep root. 


Just after leaving for Vietnam, my dad’s dad, my grandfather, Mikey’s great-grandfather, committed suicide. 


The ultimate act of pain and shame in a family. My father's pain of "I'm not wanted" crystallized further. 


The ghost in the machine for Michael was the legacy of something that came before him. 


Here is how it all went down. The day before his session with me, Mikey had had a fight with his sister (as siblings do). 


No big deal. 


Sienna was going to hang with her mom (my wife). Mieky wanted to go with them. 


Naturally, she wanted her independence and did not want Michael to join her on a trip with Lynn (their mom, my wife). 


Michael was hurt, naturally. Fairly Normal family dynamics. A fight ensues, and feelings get hurt. Tears roll. 


We all stepped back and tuned in, and I decided to shift things up and take Michael mini-golfing. We soothed the kids and everyone went their way. 


It was an awesome day for Mikey and me. Sienna and her mom got to connect deeply and have some fun. 


All good, right? 


Not quite. 


There was something “vibing” in the field for Mikey. 


Here’s what none of us saw happening underneath the surface. 


This “experience”, this “stimulus”, triggered a wound that Michael carries that wasn’t his. 


There was a ghost in the machine that came from another person, another time. It was an inherited pattern energetically, epigenetically, chemically, and hormonally and it was now “his”. 


If it had a voice it would say “I’m not wanted.” That catalyzes a flood of reactions. 


Interestingly the line of the brain I was working on was the cerebellum, the part of the brain that sits at the back of your brain, at the base. Michael had 2 substantial head injuries there. 


As I worked with him I had to hold back tears of empathy, recognition, and care. 


Mikey was amazing. 


The “resets”, once I can read the body, are fairly quick and very physical and neurological as I help the brain lobes, cranial nerves, and body tissues release and reset. 


I use language patterns with clients to clue into what they are congruent with, or not, in their subconscious mind. As Bruce Lipton said, "The mind will adjust the body's physiology to be in agreement with the subconscious mind." Thus it is MISSION CRITCIAL that we expose the underlying beliefs and reset them. In this case, Michael needed to TRULY believe in his subconscious that he was wanted. Remember, the pattern that was there, "I am not wanted" was not his, but was a generational pattern from his grandfather. 




In the end, after the reset on his brain, my son declared with moxie and passion: “No matter what trauma grandfather went through, I don’t need to carry it! I AM WANTED! I don’t have to do it perfectly! I am wanted just as I am! My parents want me! My sister wants me!” 


The big picture is this: his nervous system was able to fully metabolize, reset, and interrupt that pattern. 


It was then converted into resilience which was exemplified by his ability to now create new language and measurable changes in his brain (in his cerebellum) that we measure with neurological testing. 


That’s no small thing. A previously unconscious pattern can now be routed to the language centers of the brain (Wernicke’s area) and to the frontal cortex. 


What was hidden is now in the light. It’s no longer unconscious reactivity, it’s conscious creativity. 


I believe that when these resets happen with trans-generational trauma, it frees up our ancestors in some way.


 I have seen this time and again, in the most mysterious and magical ways, changes in the entire fabric of a life and of a family system. 


The lens I view that through is through the mysterious worlds of quantum entanglement and the shared collective “mind” that Jung called the collective unconscious. 


I hope you will join me for my workshop. 


To go deeper into this conversation, feel free to book a session with me. 


If you are in Charlotte, our May retreat is sold out but we have just opened registration for a Thursday night May 9 program, “Dr Matt and Friends”. 


It will be a magical night of celebration, community, laughter, and healing. The link is at the top of the blog. 


Lynn and I, along with our dear friend and colleague Dr Miranda Fellowes, will be leading an in-depth retreat with sincere folks aspiring to be their best in life on the Caribbean island of Nevis in November. Registration will open soon and will be limited. 


Love


Dr. Matt